Found yourself in a fairy tale? Here’s what you should know.
1) Be careful who you kiss. A kiss is a binding contract in fairy tales, normally the first person you kiss you’ll be stuck with forever. Choose well.
2) Speaking of Contracts: Be careful who you deal with. I mean this literally: deals in a fairy tale are dangerous and the ones cutting them are smarter than you are. If you cannot avoid a deal, try to limit the damage by being as specific as possible and follow the terms in the contract to the letter. There will be damage, learn to deal with it and hope you are lucky. Please apply this same rule to all wishes.
3) It is better to be clever than smart, and better to be lucky than either of those. I don’t care if you were a Harvard professor before you got whisked away to Fairy, your intelligence may get you some places but being lucky will get you everywhere and out of a number of sticky situations. Think lucky, be lucky.
4) Invite the Bad Fairy/Ugly Crone/Embodiment of Chaos to your wedding/birth celebration/ birthday/ whatever and make sure they get as good as (if not better) service than the rest of your guests. Please apply this same rule to anyone seemingly unsavory who is seeking assistance: Be polite and helpful even if the person is awful. This will save you a lot of trouble, trust me.
5) Things will happen in threes. Three days, three guesses, three wishes, three stepsisters. If something has happened twice, yep, it’s gunna happen at least one more time. Just hope that you aren’t about to full under the rule of sevens or twelfths, as wouldn’t that be tedious?
6) Learn as quickly as you can to spot a fairy glen, if you discover that you are in one or near one DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING, DO NOT DESTROY ANYTHING, DO NOT CUT ANYTHING DOWN, DO NOT GO TO THE VOICE/MUSIC and DO NOT SLEEP IN IT. Violating any of these may get you: enchanted, tricked, whisked over hill-and-dale, cursed or put to sleep for a hundred years or more, or simply killed. Don’t risk it.
7) If you have failed to follow the above rule you may find yourself in a strange place, often a party, and it may be fuzzy as to how you got there or full of strange people: DON’T EAT ANYTHING. Period.
8) Beware strange animals, particularly white ones. On the one hand: they may be a friend who will help you (and, as a bonus, might turn out to be a prince or princess or imprisoned fairy to boot). On the other hand: they may be about to scoop you up and carry you to your death or very, very far away from your intended goal or simply rob you blind. See Rule # 3.
9) Facing a giant/ogre/troll/sorcerer/witch/vampire/other aggressor seriously more overpowered than you? Good News! They have a BIG flaw which shifts the balance in your favor, you merely need to happen upon it (lucky) or figure it out (clever)! Bad news if you're the aggressor: you're going to lose.
10) Don’t follow the light. The light is evil. It will lead you into a bog and you will die.
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